Tag Archives: mental health

Not sure if the introduction of psych meds has stolen my ability to enjoy anything at all, if it’s…

Not sure if the introduction of psych meds has stolen my ability to enjoy anything at all, if it’s the lack of THC (which I honestly didn’t realize was so useful in keeping my anxiety at a 2 instead of a constant 8) or if my brain has just gone KERPLUNK again.

Whatever the reason, it sucks not being able to do anything without a) panicking about it to the point of not being able to do it/being severely impaired in the doing due to panic or b) having to be so shitfaced drunk to do it I’m a danger to myself (and others).

Nothing about any of this is remotely OK.

And that’s been the story of the last month.  Hurrah.

September 10th is World Suicide Prevention Day

This is about as open of a depiction of my scars as I’ve ever posted.  I’m not ashamed, but pride is also not the right word.  I am them, they are me, and together we make up a whole person.  Damaged, but whole.

I’ve heard shady things about TWLOHA and I know some people are not a fan of the ‘;’, so I made up my own.

I especially mean the last part.  Ask.  If you can’t ask me, ask someone you trust.  Ask tumblr.  Ask anyone.  Ask for help.  Ask for a hug.  Ask for validation.  Ask, ask, ask.  

I love you.

–Lux

doubleadrivel: sunshinedaisieswindmills: fragilecrushed: after-crisis: lumos-vs-nox: The…

doubleadrivel:

sunshinedaisieswindmills:

fragilecrushed:

after-crisis:

lumos-vs-nox:

The problem with suicidal thoughts is that they’re not just there when your sad. You’ll be there, chillin, reading a book or talking to a friend and you’ll think ‘This is nice. But do you know what would be better? Death.’

@lumos-vs-nox   This is referred to as “mild suicidal ideation“ or the desire for suicide without substantial action behind it. It often happens when someone deals with prolonged mental health issues and suicidality at a young age. When you’re young, we go through a period where our neural pathways completely rearrange- the things that happen to us at that time will influence these changes. In a way, suicidal ideation becomes an ingrained coping mechanism. A sort of “well at least suicide is always there for me”. Your brain is part-muscle, it remembers things, it learns, it’s super great at adapting, this is just a reflex. It doesn’t mean you are weak, it doesn’t mean you aren’t in recovery.

thank you for posting this, you turned a feeling many people have into words!

this is what healthy people don’t get

this is so important SO IMPORTANT

and i didn’t know this until right now and it like changed my whole outlook on my illness and recovery 

Oh.

I’ve been hesitating on calling this “recovery” because I still think casually of killing myself at least once a day.

But now that I know this? Fuck it.

RECOVERY. 😀

Support mentally ill people who can’t afford treatment.Support mentally ill people who can’t go into…

Support mentally ill people who can’t afford treatment.

Support mentally ill people who can’t go into therapy because they’ve been traumatized by a provider in the past.

Support mentally ill people who can’t take psych meds due to side effects, etc.

Support mentally ill people who aren’t yet ready to take steps towards treatment.

Support mentally ill people who need help asking for help.

Don’t demonize or harass mentally ill people who aren’t doing “the right thing.”  It’s not up to you to decide what that is.

In short:

Support mentally ill people.

Growing up an only child, I never had any peers to ask for help, or assistance or companionship.  As…

Growing up an only child, I never had any peers to ask for help, or assistance or companionship.  As a single, introverted adult I’m very much in the same boat.

I just.  I’m trying to have this thought about “asking for help” and I’m just … who do I even ask?  What do I ask for?  I legitimately don’t even know.

For example.  At work, we share a workload because we’re a small unit.  Like.  My coworkers never have trouble asking for help and rebalancing the workload as needed through the day, whereas I will keep staggering forward until someone finally says, “Hey, can I do that for you?”  Because it never even occurred to me that I could ask.  Because there was never anyone to ask, and I never had the words to know what to ask for.

This is just a proto-thought forming.

Like, I could be completely sinking but I still wouldn’t know that I even could ask for help until someone pointed out that I might be drowning.

So it follows, that even as I am probably, legitimately sinking that a normal person would have asked for help ages ago, and probably gotten it.

Me?  Not so much.  On any account.

Who is there to ask?  What could they even do?

I am a rock, I am an island.