Tag Archives: but first let me take a selfie

When you finally sit down to write for the first time in forever and then the cat tries to…

When you finally sit down to write for the first time in forever and then the cat tries to help 

then your copy of Scrivener is corrupt/broken and THEN you do the frantic “search all the folders” for your reg key and redownload and reinstall.

…thankfully all my backups seem to be intact.  

In the meantime all I had to hand was index cards.

Ain’t barely 8am and I’m already feeling like, 25% done.  Is it too early to break for coffee?

(probably not)

(Also, take your meds you egg – let’s not have a repeat of yesterday)

Once upon a time Lux bought a green sundress with a vague idea…

Once upon a time Lux bought a green sundress with a vague idea of BBQs and cocktails on warm summer days.  Unfortunately, she forgot she had very few friends, and none that were into the garden party scene.  

Fast forward to a ton a stress eating, life changes and bad mental health years later, and the dress still fit.  But she felt unsure of the changes to her body, and declined to wear the dress to any garden parties.

(Top pictures July 3rd, 2012, somewhere around my highest weight of 308 lbs.)

Life happened.  Illness happened.  Some things got better.  Some things got worse.  Not much stayed the same.  

I’m not going to lie – I got real sick and lost a lot of weight.  It’s been mixed, all the way down.  But I’d be lying if I said sometimes I don’t stand naked in front of the mirror and marvel that this, this, is the vessel that now carries me through life.  I feel more at home, more comfortable, more myself in my skin than I have since the last time I tipped the scales at 217 (or thereabouts).  I’ve given myself over to whatever process my body is going through (as doctors have ruled out anything fatal as the cause) and I’m accepting the “you look amazing!” comments, because I DO, while making no bones about the fact that the source of my weight loss remains mysterious (but is probably related to stress and GERD).  

I’ve been given an incredible gift, the biggest blessing of my life, and while I am stunned and grateful and excited, I will never relinquish my status as a fat person, I will never cease loving bodies of all sizes, and I will never stop supporting people and the vessels in which they travel, regardless of their dimensions.  

(Bottom pictures August 31st, 2016)