I Unearthed Something Today, Deep in my Psyche

I am incredibly, unspeakably angry at feminists and activists who told me that I had to own my victim-hood following my “rape”.  I am unspeakably angry at them for goading me into digging up an issue I had already discussed, dealt with and buried because I was “letting him get away with it.”

True they didn’t force me to confront him a second time and ruin a good, functioning, healthy relationship, but they made me feel that if I did NOT, I was betraying all my raped brothers and sisters.  If I did not claim the label of “rape victim” and saddle him with the monkier of “rapist” I was a part of the problem – a weak, stupid thing to be helped.

Fuck you.  Fuck you and your “Take Back The Night” and your solidarity and your rape culture (yes, YOURS).  Fuck you for ruining a good relationship, for ruining what we were rebuilding.  Fuck you for making me into a victim when I was not.

I cannot say it enough times.  Fuck you for forcing me.  Fuck you for guilting me and shaming me.  You are exactly like the monsters you rail against.  Your anger, rage and fear have pinned you down and violated you with your blessing and you are no better than the filth you despise.

Thought

The only way to beat, outfox, trounce and silence borderline personality disorder once and for all is to completely abdicate your likes, dislikes, friends, hobbies, dreams, goals, and desires – that is to say your entire personality – and begin again.

So there are always a lot of articles around about how to genuinely apologize for fucking up. The one I saw today was this one but I’ve seen many that say essentially the same thing.

So as I was reading it, I thought, “Yes, but, what if I’m NOT sorry? What if I stand by what I said?

So, you’ve offended someone, hurt their feelings, etc., but don’t feel as though you did anything wrong. Is it necessary to apologize anyway, or is it disingenuous to do so when you don’t actually feel sorry at…

Cure for Misanthropy and Melancholy
Henry David Thoreau, Walden, chapter 5 (Solitude):

Yet I experienced sometimes that the most sweet and tender, the most innocent and encouraging society may be found in any natural object, even for the poor misanthrope and most melancholy man. There can be no very black melancholy to him who lives in the midst of Nature and has his senses still. There was never yet such a storm but it was Aeolian music to a healthy and innocent ear. Nothing can rightly…

On [info]too_much_info someone was asking for a remedy for a canker sore. I gave my old tried and true answer of powdered alum. I don’t know why it works, just that it does, and it’s something that the family has just always used. You can find it in the spice section of your grocery store – it’s commonly used for pickling.

Another family secret is Raleigh Ointment, for all manny of chapped things – hands, lips, that area around your nose from blowing it too much. Also good on…